i'm praying over n over again for a miracle
tt's how much i want to get on
dying for the chance
i was just a millimetre away from it
n you took it away
took everything away in a shot
leaving an empty shell behind now
a walking zombie
who just wants each day to pass in the blink of an eye
nv felt this lifeless before
it's tearing me apart

i promise
i won't grumble
i won't complain
i won't negotiate
i won't sulk
i won't sigh
i'll run
i'll do the steps
i'll make the drives
i'll reach for the highest pt
i'll receive the pass firmly
i'll do the shots
i'll do anything it takes
just to get on again
to fight on with the rest
to win it for you.

i'm dying for that feeling again
and it's barely 5days
i can't ask more from this horrid hols
i can't relax
can't not worry
can't not fret
can't just smile n let it pass
cos it means so much to me this time.
just this once. i beg you..

i'm gonna stay home over xmas. and take good care of tt stupid toe
and pray hard that the ortho. will tell me sth nice on tuesday.
sth i can smile over
sth that'll be my best xmas gift
my next best gift
after you.

happy birthday
we miss you.