thurs was nice:)
got my haircut. always easier to maintain.
met tiff. thx for the bag girl.. i still owe u 4. hah.
then trng. again, at the sidelines.
managed to get myself involved along the way..
n i figured
when we're able to run, we complain alot and refuse to
but when we really cannot, running seems like a hope too far to reach.
i miss running. miss flying.
post-trng talks again. loves.

fri. stayed home the whole day to rest.
have been planning one day home one day out schedule
give the toe smtime to rest.

sat morning, trng. same thing.
but coach was nice, kept me involved in courtwork.
then headed off to queensway for lunch and to get the shirts
and then to get jy's shoes
the shop assistants were so cheery
debating if man u was gonna win reading
and liverpool beating tottenham..hah.
and some silly lady who was really slow (in her mind)
gave us a good laugh.. hah..
then off to meet cuzs for movie
night at the museum
seriously quite lame, but interestingly funny.. hah
and usual routine of pool after that
before gg far east
got studs
and dinner.. splurged quite abit
and walked so much..
had to bare with the resulting pain
so gonna rest home again today
on 31st. wat a bore.

and i tried yesterday after so much contemplation
i guess certain things are best left the way they are
and it shall be
contentment.

i caught this look in ur eyes
telling me it's as simple as this
guess i ought to be contented. really.
it hasn't been long
but enough to turn my life upside down
and enough to build these ties
enough to keep me going in rounds
2 more weeks
and it'll be goodbye

it's been a year.
so much up and downs since then.
all worn out
but still trying
as best as we can
to keep this going
i miss you.

did some work in sch yesterday.
at least i managed to get alil done.
feels better in sch than at home
definitely.
nice talk with glenn
he made me ponder hard over some stuff

gonna get a haircut later
before i really become a caveman as i told tiff
then gonna meet her in sch
thx for making the trip:)
n trng after that, watchin from the bench again.
will do some shooting n passes
least i can do is that
but it doesn't really matter anymore now
guess, i'm over it.
there's nth i can do, besides coming to terms with it.

hols are coming to an end.
hopefully can catch a movie with my cuzs this sat.
then countdown on sunday
not at home i really hope
i can't stop wanting to walk since i cast the crutches aside

it feels very silly
having Hope as my diet
but it has somewhat become a fact

heck. off to a good day:)

'People become stronger because they have memories they can't forget'

just back from the doctor.
saw the xray of the toe, finally.
n managed to take a pic of it. sadistic.
6 more weeks at least.
which means its all gone.
for good.
it hurts alot.
ten times more than the fracture itself.

you said you'll put me on if i continue
n i told u the only one and most important difference
is that you won't be ard by then
nvm. you won't understand.

the only gift i unwrapped today
i threw away - crutches are off now.
one week on them has been awfully horrible.
n i simply cannot stand them
hobbling around now, but it feels good
at least ive both feet on the ground now

im happy for you girl:)
really glad we can speak this way
n that you understand.
it's urs to be. im sure:)
have got loads to tell you on thurs.
n i know it's not just me.. hah.

and i woke up this morning with a lovely surprise
definitely cudn't have been a better way to start my day
i felt as thou the message spoke to me
and i hope it's personalized:)
as much as i think it isn't. still. it's nice to hope.
im thankful.

as bad as things may get
you make me believe everyday
that everything happens for a reason
and you give me a reason to hope
that the next encounter will be better:)
thanks.

i'm praying over n over again for a miracle
tt's how much i want to get on
dying for the chance
i was just a millimetre away from it
n you took it away
took everything away in a shot
leaving an empty shell behind now
a walking zombie
who just wants each day to pass in the blink of an eye
nv felt this lifeless before
it's tearing me apart

i promise
i won't grumble
i won't complain
i won't negotiate
i won't sulk
i won't sigh
i'll run
i'll do the steps
i'll make the drives
i'll reach for the highest pt
i'll receive the pass firmly
i'll do the shots
i'll do anything it takes
just to get on again
to fight on with the rest
to win it for you.

i'm dying for that feeling again
and it's barely 5days
i can't ask more from this horrid hols
i can't relax
can't not worry
can't not fret
can't just smile n let it pass
cos it means so much to me this time.
just this once. i beg you..

i'm gonna stay home over xmas. and take good care of tt stupid toe
and pray hard that the ortho. will tell me sth nice on tuesday.
sth i can smile over
sth that'll be my best xmas gift
my next best gift
after you.

happy birthday
we miss you.

it was worth it i guess.
but it's pointless telling me such things now.
for i haven't got the confidence to make it
i really very badly wanna go down
and round things up
give you the best present you could receive
and see that smile again

so much i want to do
yet so little i really can do
helpless
3 mths of perseverance
3 weeks to it
so near yet so far
i need a miracle
i'll do watever it takes to get back on
so we'll realise the goal together

the number on my hand
speaks of the times more we'll meet
i lost my chance there n then
give me a clue
to this puzzle i can't resolve

It's so unbelievable
and I don't want to let it go
something so beautiful
flowing down like a waterfall.

you made me believe, that everything happens for a reason.
n u helped us to move one step further
to nullify all the doubts.

a simplest word.
thanks

my curtains came down before the play ended..

i wanna do some shopping for all of them.
this's the season to give. and share.

caught the holiday yesterday.
found it pretty exaggerating.. but some nice parts stil.
and i think. yes. we make it tough for ourselves to move on
by lying to ourselves each time
that he'll come back again
no more the best friend role
you ought to be the leading man

i'm seriously running out of reasons for the constant msging.

if you were a melody, i'd only use the white keys

great day:) shopping with mom n sis today. and aunt's family. bought quite a bit. n got 3 pairs of socks. was packing them in when i realised i've 9 pairs of brand new ones. hah.. sth's wrong with me. wat a stupid hobby.

we're getting a tv. yeah. it's high time we ought to.

so much to do in 2 weeks. gotta start the engine again tmr..

got him a birthday card.
it's the season
it's his time again.

it's playin' over n over again..

tired tired tired

draining training with the sun.
happy afternoon with them
chatty evening with the lil boys n gram.
lovely night with gram.

things r goin to be different again when she's back.
it's gonna be a new period of endless dreading again with them.
i love going back to that home.
the one i called home for 18 years.
the other, it really is nth more than a hotel.
but there's so much unneccessary burden and nonsense to shoulder.
and doubts to bear.
the hotel's cold. but it unlocks the chain.
and life seems much simpler
free from the load of insensibility
5 days more
to a sick cycle again.

finally got down to doing sth i've been wanting to do since Os. tt's ages ago.

those insignificant words made me smile stupidly to myself
yes. it was really sweet of u.
it came in so well. with the rain
that anger simmered with a simple smile
and it keeps leaving me to think how im ever goin to do it.
and u idiot. it's more than tt i want:)

I spent a lifetime hoping it would come to me
Getting lost in the lies I believed
We're covered by a mask that we think is our sin
But we never realized that the truth is within

finally tests are over. we literally have two exams every sem. and tt's sick. alot of luck this time. i think we really have to trust our guts sometimes. when u get too indecisive, just let ur guts give u the answer. and that's exactly what i chose to do for the first time.

met julie germ and partner for dinner.. germ's flying off tonight.. then julie's turn to fly.. all gg off..will be leaving for guangzhou later too.. short trip with mom. and tmr's partner's birthday.. happy birthday girl! yes you're finally as old as i am:>

it has been hard. the distance between us. knew it was goin to be hard, but not this hard. kinda lost focus on preparing for the tests.. until you came along with those words. that meant so much to me. thanks for ur luck:)

two weeks break. as good as nth again. trng camp next week, 2 friendlies 3 trngs in 3 days. test of our minds. hope everything will turn out fine. that things will settle down soon. before the real test comes in january. we've got so much to do.

wanna get so many things.. bags shirts shoes socks ( i love getting socks even though my drawer's full of them), handphone..my wish for santa this year would be cash:)

physical change tmr. yep.

and i realised yesterday, that i've neglected her admist all the tests n work. i need to stop taking things for granted. n wake up.

Tell all the dreams that you have let slip right through your hands
Do you feel lost inside of someone else's life

" He has never complained. He put up with the jealousy of Luis Figo and the comments from team-mates that the dressing room should smell of sweat, not aftershave. Every time he takes to the pitch, he puts his foot in and helps the team with that British spirit of never-say-die. If others had done the same, he would not have gone three years without winning anything"

-- Spanish sports columnist J J Santos pays tribute to David Beckham

musn't be too sensitive. it's bad.
but ur actions prove otherwise.
and words. absolutely disgust me.

yes. u.

second time im telling u.
get lost.

hectic week. stupid tests again. sth's really wrong with this system. we barely get to settle down and it's tests and exams flooding in.

training was ultimately tiring. silly neck.. stupid rain got us stranded with fitness again.
she didn't mention a word. but. it just sunk in for a minute. and my attitude was really bad.. shldn't have done that..

it's gona feel weird not seeing u for a week now..

i'm gonna give myself a break after the tests. a real break. need to refocus and do some adjusting. otherwise im gonna end up in shags. and time to meet up.. haven't met all for sometime.. always the difference in schedules..

and after the change in programmes for the camp, im not exactly looking forward to it anymore. hah. alil still though i guess.

and thx:) for encouraging.
it gives me alot of determination to keep going.
at least i know u care.
and that's enough.

next time - after tests

it's a matter of time i go mad
with all these people around
every sec more is torture
the only reason for persistence
has to be you

what day is it?
and in what month?
this clock never seemed so alive
i can't keep up and
I can't back down
i've been losing so much time

went for run yesterday. after red camp.. which i consider to be quite a success, considering the number of people trying out the shots at our area. even with the mini flood at the beginning. wasn't bit prepared for the neck ache though, from constantly looking up at the pole.

all of the things
that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
i'm tripping on words
you've got my head spinning
i don't know where to go from here

run was alright. managed to make it under the time she gave.. barely managed though. gonna run again tmr morning.. before the parents' seminar thing in the afternoon. the week hasn't been good, except for trng..and smtimes i really ask myself why im stil doing all these..

cause it's you and me
and all of the people with nothing to do
nothing to prove

and it's you and me
and all of the people
and I don't know why
i can't keep my eyes off of you

still deciding whether i shld go guangzhou with mom after tests and miss 2 trngs or postpone the trip.. every trng is so critical now. heck. it's draining.

there's something about you now
i can't quite figure out
everything she does is beautiful
everything she does is right