false hopes again.
snap out
off.
till im out of this game

i forgot.
how i held ur hand
as u led me across the road
and waited with me
and watched me grow
and taught me to be strong
to shelter her from the cold
im but an ingrate
sorry.
im sorry

ungrateful idiot
me.

you left me wondering if i was just part of ur winning strategy
hypocrisy
hidden agendas
out now.
thanks for the timely reminder
least i know now.

irrational behaviour again
sorry..
the familiar faces
helped me realise tt simplicity still exists.

thanks sy:)
it was enough
now. afresh

and yes. things will only get better
thanks:)

give me the faith. and strength. to keep walking on
like you've always did.
it's nothing comparable to the path u took
so i know
you'll guide me thru.

thank you

just got global cities assignment done
half crescent eyes now..
need to sleep desperately
nonsense..

bbq on wed
i love gatherings:)
hope everything goes well
and everyone enjoys themselves
i wanna see smiles
love them.

tired.
bed looks good
yet foreign
n yes
the simplest things can make you really smile
really depends on how we view them i guess
im positive
we're right

long day tmr..
goodnite

a beautiful mistake

now.
stand up and be counted.

no more drifting
fingers back on white keys
lets play it through this duet

block the voices out

no repetition
no black keys
no pedals
no metronome
just the white keys and me
and the finest piece
all eyes set
bring me through.

inexistent keys
uncovered melodies
and an incompetent me

there is none like you

it hasn't been the same.
since then.
last time
make good
and move on
now
i honestly have an answer
and it's here to stay.

thanks for everything
and..bye.

don't feel like saying anything

forget it..

too late
i neglected
again
i looked in
it wasn't that face
i once saw

i've forgotten
the familiar sight
that familiar voice
the familiar scent
i vividly rem. rolling the paper
and being rewarded with polo mint sweets

i heard alot about you
the negativities
and i developed my own impression
of you, back then
but.
all moms love their children. most. at least.
and i believe
at some point in time
u loved her too

for 3 years
i nv saw u
negligence
i failed
failed terribly
i'm sorry

when i looked in just now
i realised it didn't feel
the way it should have
i
forgot
forgot how it feels
to lose someone
maybe
the immunisation sank in
numb.

history's been repeating itself
time after another
i keep thinking i've learnt
but i keep losing my priorities
and the effort to realise it
this feels.
absolutely.
crap.
it feels like im losing control
of everything
sorry

din expect to let her in on all these
i don't hate him
he din have a choice as well
he would have wanted to fulfill his promise to her
and sing her the birthday song again.
we've been singing on ur behalf
she's in safe hands
rest assured
we'll keep our word.

i miss. both of u.

i guess.
it'll come to an end soon
this time for real
real soon
im coming to terms
with all these feelings

it's not that hard to decipher
definitely isn't
only a matter of whether u bth to
but i know u won't
so i'm not hoping
cos i've had enuf disappointments

last game tmr.
we keep saying we'll make it good
tmr. we really must.
as best as we can
i hope to see smiles
joy.
cos tt's what we've been fighting for
that very chance
on court
to give it our all.

went jogging yest
feels great sweating it out
prob. let out more than just the perspiration
but the whole load of stuff as well
explains the happier mood today i guess:)

i need to start getting work done
so much to do
but i've barely started
been pushing
time to start
when everyone's ending.

she used to give me round polo mints
and i used to play with her chin
used to.
perhaps they've reunited
somewhere out there.

cos i believe
we'll meet again someday

monday blues seriously..
i've been trying to focus for the entire sem
but i can't stop getting flashes
it's the second time
by someone so insignificant

can't understand
how it happened
and went on this way..
for the past 3mths
it has always been the same
and as much as i keep saying
i'm out
i realised
i;ve just been going in circles
the 'back to square one' feeling
thought it was a second chance
but realised it was imminent still
so much more has been going ard me
but im stuck here
in my own hole
unwilling to crawl out
completely retarded

what exactly do i need
to see that i'm wrong
to have stepped into this circle
and put myself thru this nonsense
maybe if u would give me an answer
straight in my face
to dispel all hopes

i'll distance myself
and maybe
after tomorrow
the next time we meet
i'll be able to look at you
without any qualms..

off to lessons 2, 3 and 5 from joanne..

lost it. but third chance came by still.
i said.
we can. we must. and we will.
on and off
we're together in it.
let's make it good.

limin's hse for mahjong after nus game..
played thru the night
lost thru the night too
seriously need to attend mj lessons i think
loser..
brain kinda shut down ard 5.30..
and i think that was when i lost the most
so crappy
7.30 auto wakeup time
managed to figure things out.. hah
then watched some drama and talked till 12 plus..
tried to do marketing proj but cudn't access my phone
it was locked. n i happily forgot the password..
and all the info i needed for the proj was in it
seriously i think im on a streak of bad luck
ultimate suay.
thanks to joanne jy n limin for lending their phones though:)

was supposed to meet ju n germ for dinner
but was too tired to move at all..
totally conked out till 8 plus
super guilty now.. very sorry...

went to get the phone unlocked just now
they reset it..
and i lost almost all the msgs of a very important person
whose msgs i've been keeping since october last yr..
136-18 really equals to heartache..
have been wanting to change the phone but didn't bear to
cos i knew i'll lose the msgs if i did..
but now. argh...
18msgs left, maybe i shld just get it changed.. and let it go.
now the phone's such a turnoff.

i don't want a new face
don't wanna lose the urge to play
i realised you kept it
now i know it means sth to you
yet. i don't know how to feel
crap.
i shld have told u when u asked
but im afraid to lose
in this game for two..

it's simplicity that keeps us going

7 really ain't enough.
that feeling again.
incapable
to do anything.

longest time on tuesday
4 hrs
thanks

but connectivity
zero

sorry

i don't need entertainment.
i need to break free now.

honestly.
we don't connect.
i'm the weakest link.
crap.

sorry

it made me realise
how different we are
whether opposites really attract
think i lost my answer smwhere then.

ur composure struck me
but im glad you're fine
that's what matters most
maybe we ought to keep a distance
lest my span of bad luck gets to u
sth i absolutely wudn't want to see

the mere meeting motivates
drives me through a boring day
may you get a pleasant surprise tmr:)

and thanks. for the second chance
i'll make good the time
i promise.
i won't disappoint
i've learnt my lesson
gratitude.
for the time extension
just as i thought i entered the last lap. a loser.
now i've another min. to race
and i'm inspired
to go even faster. and further
second time round,
i'll give more.
and play the game by all the rules.

thanks.

i'll give the world.

awkward silence
awfully disliked
don't wanna leave it as such
but i haven't got the simplest of ideas
to guide us out of this circle
we need more words
spoken words.

slow down
let me catch up
and bring you back down
let me help
no is the last i wanna hear.

last time i'll be seeing you this way
it's been a rollercoaster ride
brought to extreme ends
only to realise now
what you meant in saying
that we're more often than not, misunderstood
you were
i believe i still am
no less than before
despite the many attempts
to bridge this gap.
if only you would stop
and listen
to what i've to say to you
but ifs truly are inconceivable fantasies.
time's almost up
yet here we are
still going in rounds.

the umpteenth time im feeling this way
and i start questioning
why i never learn
that people come
and they go
and we should take such times
with grace and smiles
cos it's time for them to go
and for us
to move on.

i found reasons for my irrational behaviour
not excuses
but reasons.
we shldn't be excused for irrationalities
but we have reasons to be irrational at times

everyday
i feel im approaching an imminent loss
and now im just a week away from it
from losing a part of what i've embraced into my life

still.
i'll keep believing
that contentment is the word
and the hopes should stop.

enough.


- songbird-

bad start.
but yes. positivities.
the bad goes, the good comes
hope it'll be better next week.

lessons now, just did some silly quiz
home later to work on marketing proj
then back to sch to finalise econs proj
then trng.
sidelines as usual.
friendly with hall team later
hope the girls do well:)

promised i'll be nice
i'll try.
as much as i've always tried to
perhaps u really aren't the one
guess it's gonna be one of the last times
i'll try.
to leave the good with u

project rush this wkend
preparing for emotional outburst
awful.

i wanna help u
if you'll allow me to
i'll try
as much as i know it'll probably go unrequited
still
perhaps the last i can do for you

gd day:)

2006

eventful year
opened me up to alot
and showed me much
not exactly a lousy year
but we always hope for the better
you gain, you lose
that's the way things go, isn't it
lights off now.

- curtains down -

2007

new hopes
new wishes
new expectations
new dreams
new goals
new events
new people
the irony is that it's really just another day
with a different year in the date
but we see things in new light
and everything becomes new
tt's what i mean by , we always hope for the better
hoping that a new year will bring a better tomorrow
which of course is a hope
and we survive on hopes

so i hope that in this new year
gram will walk out of depression
ah ma will keep walking the way she does now
mom will learn to walk with more courage
sis will walk steadier steps
and i'll walk with more faith

- lights on -

to a less eventful year. together:)