that time of the year again.
the dinner
the only one
i'll always be the youngest to attend
that shapes my entire year

tonight
i was told
thrice.
that they don't have a choice.
that i'll understand
in 4 years time
the reason for their persistence.

it's been hard on you
3 and a half yrs of nightmare
and the pain
i've never seen
masked by the laughter.
i thank you
most sincerely.
for helping us
to keep this going.
and i understand
why you never had a choice
even in the first place.
and when u said
we'll have to keep going
even when
we can no longer
support ourselves and stand upright.
cos i learnt
that the last thing we have is a choice.

the reluctance
only gets stronger
with every year's dinner

yet.
it's my only promise to you
one i never
ever.
will break.

and tonight
we aged.